The Animals Are Trying to Kill Me...

My fur-babies love me to death. Literally. As in, I almost died twice today and it's only just after 7am...

My cat Luna was exceptionally lovey dovey cuddly wuddly last night. She decided to snuggle up to me last night. In my face. While I slept. Cutting off my air. Repeatedly. Now, I find it a bit odd that a cat who hates anyone up in their face was willing to lick my nose and nuzzle my cheek. But when she decided to curl up and put her whole body in front of my nose and mouth, that was when Luna took a flying lesson. This did not discourage her efforts though, because I had to send her flying at least 3 more times before she finally decided to leave me alone. I love my cats (and my dog), but there's no way to mask the fact that she was openly trying to suffocate me to my death. I'm a bit worried...

So, at about 6:45, I woke up for a bathroom break, and decided it was a great opportunity to take the dog out. Took him out, he did his business, and he came back inside. So far, so good, right? Well, apparently, he had the poops last night while we slept, and there was poop all over the kitchen. Fine, it was on the fake tile, I cleaned it up, it took two separate trips to the bathroom to flush it all away, but no big deal. Well, I was on my way out of the bathroom, and damn near fell and busted my head open on the bathtub. Normally, this wouldn't surprise me too much, considering my clumsy level is Grand Wizard, but my own clumsiness was not to blame. Axel had peed in the bathroom, and I stepped in it (whole foot, not just a tiny part), sending me sliding across the bathroom floor doing some horrible impression of a seizure style dance move. Now, I'd bet if someone was there to see this, they'd have fallen dead laughing at the whole hilarity of the situation. I'm not laughing, though, because my foot was covered in pee and I came THIS CLOSE to pinching a nerve in my back, but it slid back where it needs to be before my spine could trap it. Don't get me wrong, it hurts like a mofo, but I'm gonna be okay. 

So yes, my animals are clearly plotting my untimely demise. I'm fearful of my life. If you never hear from me again, it means I didn't make it, so can someone please, for the love of all that is unholy, please delete my browsing history before my mum gets ahold of my computer??? 

Happy Saturday, folks!! 

PS-if you Google Image evil puppy, I find it hilarious that there are so many Huskies, and that my pup is a Husky. Coincidence? Perhaps not...