Monday, December 23, 2013

The Top Ten Least Favorite Christmas Things

Well, it seems the flu bug is terrorizing our interviewee lately, so we unfortunately have to postpone today's scheduled interview. We're wishing her family would all get better soon and will wait patiently until she's feeling a little better to harass her for the interview. Hehehe...

In place of the interview today, I've decided to post another obligatory holiday post. Why? Because I'm being dragged to my husband's company Christmas party tonight, and I'm seriously considering faking sick to get out of it. (Although you won't read this till tomorrow, which for you is today, and the party will be over and I'll be fully ready to get past the holidays and into the new year. If that didn't confuse you, you haven't had enough peppermint Schnapps.) So I figure, what the hell, I'll give ya a rundown of my top ten least favorite Christmasy things. Because hey, there's already plenty of happy holiday joy, cheer, and ooey gooey goodness this time of year. :P

I proudly present to you, my faithfully loyal and dedicated readers (who even stop in when I have nothing to say), my Top Ten Least Favorite Christmas-y Things!!

10. Taking the decorations back down after only a few days. Because, ya know, I really enjoy going through all that hassle for so short of a time frame.UGH!

 9. Kentucky weather. Everyone dreams of that white Christmas that's fluffy and pretty, watching the little ones go play with their new toys in the snow. Yeah, we rarely get that. Just last night, we had hurricane force winds with a a bazillion thunderstorm warnings and some tornado watches. Yeah. Santa's gonna end up in Oz if he tries to come to Kentucky.

 8. Traffic - Why is the freeway a friggin parking lot? Omigosh, going ANYWHERE takes twice as long because there's ten thousand cars on each and every road. I try not to drive anywhere at all between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.

 7. Christmas parties. Now, I'm not talking about the ones with good food, good friends, and good times. I'm talking about the ones you're obligated to attend and company Christmas parties. Dear Lord, just take me now and ease my suffering, because the awkwardness and drunken stupidity never works out. Oh, well, okay, ONCE it did, and landed me with my husband. ONE time...

 6. Cat - 1500, Christmas Tree - 0. Having two felines and a canine with a Christmas tree is a sure disaster. I keep a bottle of medication near me so I can try and scare my psycho kitty out of the tree every fifteen seconds. It's exhausting.

 5. The obligation to buy presents. I don't mind one bit spoiling my sisters and brothers and hubby and friends and family. My beef is with the fact that it's expected of me. Whether I have the means or ability, it is expected of me to buy gifts. I know everyone says, "Oh, you shouldn't have," or "Oh, you didn't have to do that!" Yes you should have, and yes you did. Nobody wants to tell you that, though.

 4. All the good movies and TV shows are replaced by holiday imposters, and some idiot decided to play Christmas music before Halloween. I don't mind one or two holiday movies, but dude, stop flooding the market, some of us are not holiday-obsessed! And the music...I just...I can't even...just no. NO.

 3. Everything is either peppermint or pumpkin flavored. I get that it's a holiday themed food/drink, but dear sweet mother of all that is Christmas, I hate pumpkin and the only peppermint I eat is peppermint candy to help curb my nausea. Please bring back normal flavors?

 2. Trying to shop for normal items becomes a battle to the death. You can't even go buy groceries to make your normal meals without having to fight with at least one person over either the checkout line, parking, the last bag of pizza's a madhouse. I refuse to go to any malls till after Christmas. REFUSE.

1. Being broke. I swear, being broke around the holidays is the worst. You're already obligated to buy presents you can't afford, but then you start to really feel down when you realize that you can not only not afford the presents, but you can't even afford your normal groceries because everything has inflated. And when you can't buy all those things, you fall into a deep pit of depression. Okay, maybe that's an extreme example, but if you haven't been saving all year for Christmas, you are going to end up broke and possibly stressed. Is it worth it? Well, that's for each person to decide.

Yeah, I know, this is probably my least perky post ever. But ya know what? I'm okay with that. Because Christmas isn't all happy happy joy joy, it's the full range of emotions and experiences. So why not express them all?

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